14 November 2008

Word Search Fun and Games

"why would you want to know what a suitcase weighs in Milton Keynes? The answer is probably the same as in Leamington Spa or Wagga Wagga!...I can assure you that our thoughts are wide and varied. In brief it would revolve around beer, birds and footy!"

The other day while having a cup of chai (Indian spiced tea to the uninitiated) I decided to look at some of the statistics surrounding my blog. I do this periodically as it's always good to see where people are viewing my blog from, and also how they came upon my epic tomes of everyday life.

One statistic that really caught my eye, well both of them really, was the 'keyword analysis' stats. This is the wording used by an Internet user to stumble across my blog. Some of the word searches were quite interesting in their own right. So here are a selection of searches undertaken by readers of my blog:

Weighing my suitcase in Milton Keynes - When I saw this I didn't know what to make of it! I know that Milton Keynes is a man made city which is sterile and lacking in identity (in my humble opinion), but why would you want to know what a suitcase weighs in Milton Keynes? The answer is probably the same as in Leamington Spa or Wagga Wagga!

Gordon Ramsey view on alcohol - Well I am not sure he has one on things of an alcoholic nature. What I do know is that he has a view on swearing, french chefs and vegetarian food! Now where did I put my effing tofu burger and glass of chardonnay?

Chocolate crackles expiry date - This search must have originated from a bored accountant or auditor during a tea break. Why else would you want to know an expiry date for choccy crackles?? In my experience the gals and No Worries devour them within 30 minutes of being made. Naturally I only have the odd one or twenty! If you want a recipe for them then please email me...

Thoughts of Englishmen - A very interesting search indeed. How long is a piece of string? As an Englishman living in the colonies I can assure you that our thoughts are wide and varied. In brief it would revolve around beer, birds and footy! Aren't us English the stereo typical culture vultures after all!

APEC drizabone lapel - This search left me dumbfounded. Just to backtrack a little, last year Sydney hosted the APEC forum where world leaders like Dubya and Putin came out to Australia to discuss financial and economic matters. As a present the then PM of Australia 'little' Johnny Howard presented all leaders with a drizabone (rain coat) - which are popular in the outback or with flashers in the inner city suburbs. Now why someone would want to know about the lapel of a raincoat is beyond me. Surely someone with too much time on their hands (or raincoat).

Why are tolberones triangle - An interesting question indeed. Short answer is - I don't know! Sounds like a university student this time, who has been studying late at night and on the spur of a moment eats a tolberone and then decides to Google it. How searching for tolberones gave someone my blog as a search result is amazing anyway. Still another 'hit' to the blog is always welcome!

Wife stockings bed assistant - Absolutely no idea how this search gave my blog as a result. I suggest to you, the reader, that this person was very lonely on a Friday night while thinking of his wife. Either that or he just wanted to find the nearest adult shop for his wife!

Well there you go. Just a snippet of a few of the word searches used to find my blog. I think from now on I will review my blog stats more regularly as some of the searches I've come across are quite funny in their own right.


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