25 August 2010

Supermarkets and DVDs

"I do not have a supermarket fetish but was in one to buy some bread (honest!)...you have probably spent too much time in a convent, monastery, collecting elastic bands or playing PlayStation!"

There I was one lunchtime wandering around a supermarket. Now I should state up front that I do not have a supermarket fetish but was in one to buy some bread (honest!). After I picked up a wholemeal loaf (healthy choice of course), I walked up and down a few of the aisles. Truth be known I was probably bored. It was then that I came across the DVD section. Now it should be stated that compared to supermarkets in other parts of the world, the DVDs available in a Coles or Woolies in Australia is very limited indeed.

The DVDs are normally kept close to the checkouts. My theory is that as you get bored queueing up to be served that you will grab a DVD and purchase it! Sure enough I was in a queue when I picked up a DVD to read more about it. It was a movie from the 1960's that had the biggest stars of the era. It had a rating on it, which they all do, and it was PG (Parental Guidance). Now there was nothing unusual with that but underneath it was written the words 'sexually alluring'.

This got my attention as I had never seen that before. Also, I cannot imagine a movie of the 1960's being alluring in a sexual manner. Although I am sure that sex was popular in those halcyon days. It still seemed a tad strange to me so I decided to do some investigation.

With my anorak in tow I wanted to analyse the words 'sexually alluring'.

First off, if you don't know what 'sexually' means then you have probably spent too much time in a convent or monastery, collecting elastic bands or playing PlayStation! For the purposes of this blog I will not elaborate on its definition.

However, 'alluring' is defined as - very attractive, enticing, tempting, seductive, fascinating and charming. All very good adjectives indeed.

So the interpretation of the rating for the movie (of which I cannot remember the title of) is that it is sexually enticing or charming! Hardly one to get hot under the collar about. There again it was the 1960's!

This has got me thinking about some alternative wording that could be used when rating a current movie. Now I am okay with the main ratings - G (General), PG (Parental Guidance), M (Mature), MA (Mature Accompanied) and R (restricted), but I have come up with some additional words to go with the rating. So here, dear reader, are my suggestions to the Classifications Board:

"contains crap acting"
"storyline too hard to understand"
"boring parts all the way through"
"guaranteed to send you to sleep"
"don't bother it is really bad"

If you have any other suggestions then please drop me a line....

07 August 2010

Slang and Things!

"yes I am an ex-banker. Please keep it quiet and don't spread it about...To me '101' is a bus number.

Recently something dawned on me. Now that is an amazing thing in itself. However, I realised that in today's fast paced society we are using more and more slang than ever before. Now I don't mean Internet slang like 'lol' or 'imho' but slang that is used in everyday life.

There were two pieces of slang that struck me as having become more popular. The first one is '24/7'. I know that it means that something is available all week. That is 24 hours for 7 days. Now if the Beatles had there way with the song 'eight days a week' then it would be '24/8'.

To me '24/7' means that the fantastic show 24, with Jack Bauer, will be shown on Channel 7! That would make perfect sense. Otherwise a person would say something like 'available all hours of each day'. I am not sure how '24/7' came to be so popular but it would certainly have been in the last 10 years.

Another modern day slang is '101'. What this means is a beginners introduction to say, risk management. In business circles '101' has become extremely popular. To me '101' is a bus number. It was the bus that took me from my parents home to my job seven miles away in a bank. Yes I am an ex-banker. Please keep it quiet and don't spread it about! Oh, that's banker with a 'b' and not a 'w'.

Technology isn't immune either. Recently Apple released the iPad. Now I have to admit the marketing around it is fantastic but personally I am a bit sceptical and will stick to net books and laptops. Having said that surely the iPad is a digital women's sanitary pad! Phew, I think I got away with that comment. No offence to all the ladies out there!

Terrorism has also contributed to our newly found slang. Who can ever forget the atrocities of 911? Obviously this relates to the events that unfolded on the 11th September in 2001. To me though 911 is the number before 912 and the number after 910. Our laziness in saying 911 in comparison to the 11th September are adding to the growing list of slang.

Well that's all I could think of for now so I'll be back 24/7 with a 101 on how to write blogs!