The Great St Ives Car Park Mystery

I have a theory.  It's a good one, a bit left of centre I have to admit, but still a good one!  So, what is this theory? How did  I manage to come up with it? Read on, my friends and all will be revealed, eventually.

Once a month, for the past few months, the family has been helping one of our clients with a stall at the St Ives Shopping Village.  For the family, it means getting up early, packing the car and driving up to St Ives, and then helping out with the stall.  My main role is to undertake the hard task of blowing up all the balloons.  I am glad to say that I have a machine to help me inflate them.  Otherwise, given the number of balloons required, I would be in intensive care at the local hospital.  This is a story in itself, but I think I will save it for another day as it will make great blogging material one day!

One thing that I noticed when we first helped our client out was the fact that the car park at the shopping centre was virtually 100% full.  I assumed that the locals liked to do their shopping early, especially for a Sunday.  I held this view until last week when my thoughts about this totally changed.  For this session the family had to arrive an hour earlier at 9am.  Driving up to St Ives I thought that I would easily get a car parking spot close to the entrance of the shopping centre.

However, I was totally wrong! Despite the earlier time and the coldish weather, the car park was totally full! In fact, for the 7 hours we were there the car park was never anything but full! So what was the reason behind this?  Being of an inquisitive mind, I decided to come up with my theory.

St Ives is an area made up of a high proportion of old aged persons and baby boomers. As we all know, people of a mature age seem to wake up much earlier than the rest of us.  My theory is that the locals seem to get a kick out of driving around the car park at the shopping centre for hours on end.  It must be a mature aged fetish, methinks.

This is the only reason I can come up with, coupled with the fact that locally not much happens on a Sunday.  Interestingly, a few times when I had to go back to my car and drop off or pick up some items from the boot, I was car stalked.  This even happened when I told the driver of two vehicles that I was not going to drive off and was just getting something from the boot!  My mixed up brain decided that car stalking must, therefore, be a local hobby for the over 60's.

I even deliberately went different directions to get to my car at times, and sure enough, I was car stalked!  I had to admire the eagle eyes of the drivers as they seemed to be able to see me quite clearly carrying my car keys from a distance of 50 metres! What was even more impressive was their driving and breaking skills as I led them on a merry trail back to my clapped out old car.

Even when we left the shopping centre, after a good day's effort, we ended up being followed by a driver.  You could clearly hear the low hum of the engine as it moved behind us at a slow speed.  Naturally, within seconds of leaving the parking space a car had quickly taken it.

As I drove off I thought back to the car stalking and the locals who were happy to just drive around and around and around. It did seem a tad strange to me. St Ives, dear reader, surely is a quirky place!

The Never Ending World of the Cliche

Writing blogs can be lots of fun, pure and simple.  You have freedom to write anything you want at a drop of a hat! 

Some people write about things that are close to their heart, whilst others will offer their opinions about certain matters by putting their own spin on it.  Then there are others who will go full circle and write blogs as if it's their own diary, their personal space in time.  

As for me, I don't want to re-invent the wheel every time I write a blog.  I just let my mind go with the flow and see what comes up, or I should say, what is transcribed via the laptop! When you are on a roll, blog speaking, you need to make hay while the sun shines, and let the creative juices flow.  That way you will always reach your goal of writing the best blog of all time! Well I can dream about that, at least.

At times you feel like a kid in a lolly shop, as the words flow fluently from your fingers, and what you write actually makes sense to yourself and the average man in the street. Thinking of a grand plan for a blog means that, at times, you need to think outside the square.  This is when it gets exciting and it whets your appetite to reach for the stars from a writing perspective.  Then, with a full head of steam, you create a masterpiece of epic proportions.

I don't believe in let sleeping dogs lie. I believe that you need to keep things fresh and try out different ways of doing the obvious.  As they say, clothes make a man and a great blog makes a true blogger.  At times if I think the blog is not evolving into how I want it to, then I put it on ice for a while and come back to it at a later stage.  That way, I always finish what I started.

When I started blogging, what now seems like a million years ago, I never thought it would have reached the level it has.  I always take it one blog at a time.  That way I can take stock of things in my own way.

Never in a million years did I think I would write 15 blogs, let alone 150!  However, I am sure with my get up and go attitude then my blogs will go from strength to strength.  So, for all you readers out there don't wait with baited breath but come back to my blog site for the latest and greatest blogs in the universe - or my fractured mind at least!

NB: If you can work out how many cliché’s I used in this blog then you are a better man (or woman) than I!

Bye Bye Facebook!

Recently I made a decision.  To some it might seem like a monumental decision.  To me it was a simple decision.  Actually, it was a very easy thing for me to do. What is this decision I made? Why did I make it?  Read on dear listener and I will reveal all!


After 5 years I am deactivating my Facebook account. There I have said it.  It is in black and white, and as a reader you can judge me on this decision.  Actually, I stopped using Facebook a week ago, but re-activated it so I can post a link to this blog and let all my friends know why I am no longer going to be a Facebook user.


I first started using Facebook back in 2007 and was impressed with how you could connect with your friends, share photos and create groups.  In the early days there were groups that you could chat in, which was lots of fun.  This didn't last too long, however.


Over the years there have been many changes.  The format seems to change regularly, and its latest re-creation reminds me more of a My Space page than a Facebook one.  Over the last few years there have been a plethora of apps for games like Farmville and many other similar ones.  I received many invites to join these games, and declined every one of them.  If I wanted to play games I would use other means, like Wii.


However, I have become exceedingly bored with Facebook.  It was starting to become a chore to log on via my phone or laptop and see what everyone was up to.  As well as this my posts were becoming boring too.  Quite often I would type a post like "it's raining today" or "I am hungry and need food now".  I was posting very banal things which is not what I am really about.  In addition, the Big Brother approach that has been adopted by Facebook and the privacy rule changes certainly didn't sit well with me.


Finally, after a few weeks deliberation I made the decision to not use Facebook any more.  To me the inter-activeness of Twitter is far more appealing.   True, I will miss my friends' photos of themselves, their holiday and life experiences, but I know deep down I would rather spend time with them rather than looking at their pics over a social media platform.  I feel that I have evolved and Facebook is not a part of my life anymore.


So what does the future hold? Well I am going to send a last post on my Facebook account advising my friends of my decision with a link to this blog.  After a month or so I will permanently delete my account.  Rest assured after posting this blog I will not be viewing or posting anything else.

Football and Spring

The following is my latest piece for Ebbsfleet United, and was published in the programme for the game v Telford on the 14th April.  I hope you all enjoy it!

Spring time is here again. It’s that time of year when you can feel the warmth of the sun, the days are getting longer (yay!), birds are chirruping in the blossomed trees, and you can hear the distant sound of a ball hitting willow – as another shot from the dodgy centre half misses the goal completely, and hits the advertising board near the corner flag! Yes, it’s that time of year again, folks. 

If the football season was a restaurant menu, we would now be entering the deserts section.  Having started out with our prawn cocktail entree, through to our chicken tikka masala and pillau rice main course, and are now picking up the desert spoon and about to attack and devour the ever so inviting sticky date pudding!  

Over the last week or two, teams the length and breadth of the country have been playing football with the same vigour that a child shows during an Easter egg hunt.  The crucial last few games have been shaping the success or failure for a number of teams in all divisions.  As for the Blue Square Premier, we have Fleetwood and Wrexham battling it out for that automatic promotion spot to the Hallowed Land that is known as League 2. 

Meanwhile, at the other end of the table a number of teams, including ex-league teams Darlington and Stockport County, have been fighting to stave off the threat of relegation to the Blue Square South, or North, divisions.  For the fans of these two ex-league sides the next few games will be very crucial.  Remember, that it was only three seasons ago that Stockport were playing League One football.

As the games whittle away the pressure on teams at both ends of the spectrum intensifies as they strive for glory/safety.  The players feel it, the coaching staff feel it and of course the fans, who spend their hard earned money following their team, feel it! Without a doubt it really is a stressful time of the year if you are a football nut!

Fortunately for us, Ebbsfleet are safely ensconced in the middle part of the league table and are safe for at least another year.  Given the last couple of seasons, where relegation was followed with instant promotion, we can relax a little and enjoy the last few games.  Undoubtedly, given Ebbsfleet’s standing, Liam Daish has again been performing minor miracles.  Sainthood must be beckoning for Mr Daish any time soon.  Interestingly, most punters thought The Fleet were going to be one of the teams to be relegated!

Despite our safety, you can bet your last pound that the Manager will not be resting on his laurels.  Liam will be wanting the team to win as many of these remaining games as possible.  Rest assured that the team that represents Ebbsfleet today will be under orders not to ‘take it easy’.  Expect a whole-hearted performance from the lads.

Finally, a warm welcome to players, officials and fans from AFC Telford who themselves have been fighting for their Blue Square Premier survival.  It should be a good game today and, who knows, maybe the sun will shine too!

Derek W (Twitter: @main_man). 

PS: Feel free to drop me a tweet or two!

Football Networking!

The following is an article that I wrote for the Ebbsfleet United matchday programme v Kettering.  The good news is the Fleet won 1-0!!


Anyway, for those not lucky enough to get to the game, here is my latest offering:


Sport is becoming very connected with social networking sites nowadays.  A quick internet search will provide you with a number of networking sites where you can find your favourite sporting teams and players.  Aside from the obvious marketing aspect, it is a chance for fans like you and I to follow our idols.  For example, there are many Facebook pages that cater for our sporting cravings.  Then there is Twitter where you are able to follow your favourite player, read their tweets and, if you are lucky enough, get a reply from them. In some respects it’s like belonging to a family as you follow all their highs and lows. 

Naturally, there are other social networking sites which are becoming used more and more often.  However, I cannot imagine a transfer listed player updating their resume on LinkedIn or through Viadeo.

This social networking phenomenon got me thinking, which is rare enough these days.  I was wondering if, in the future, networking platforms such as Twitter and Four Square would become totally interactive within an actual game.  Would there be a time when players and officials could send tweets as events unfolded on the field?

For example, the Tevez incident, when he refused to go on as a substitute for Manchester City in the Champions league, could have gone something like this:

Tevez (via Twitter) “There is no way I am going on as a sub.  Who does Mancini think I am? A second rate player???”  Mancini (via Twitter) “what the…that’s it! This clown is notta going to play fora me again! Wait until we getta back to the changing roomas!!”

A referee could, for example, tweet immediately after a penalty appeal has been turned down:

“What a muppet! No way is he going to get a penalty diving like that!”  Meanwhile the player could respond “he took my bloomin’ legs! The ref is as blind as a bat! That was def a penalty guvnor!”

Four Square could also play a big part too.  We could have “Carlos Tevez is sitting on the subs bench in Munich” Or “Didier Drogba is lying face down in the penalty area at Stamford Bridge” or even “Mario Balotelli is in his bathroom in Manchester chasing fireworks”.

This brings me nicely to our favourite team, Ebbsfleet United.  Most of the players have Twitter accounts and recently the Gaffer himself is now merrily tweeting away.  A common theme amongst the majority of players except for their music tastes is Nandos! I wonder if there is a chance of a sponsorship deal for the team for next season!

Anyway, listed below are the Twitter accounts of the Ebbsfleet Players and Manager.  Feel free to send them tweets as I know they love receiving them.

Preston Edwards - @Preston_Eddy         

Ricky Shakes - @rickyshakes       

Ram Marwa - @RamMarwa                      

Liam Enver-Marum - @LIAM_E_M          

Callum Willock - @Callumwillock              

Johnny Herd - @h3rdy_11                         

Michael West - @MikeWest77                  

Joe Howe - @Howe88

Tom Phipp - @TomPhipp                          

Craig Stone – @stone_craig       

Ram Marwa - @RamMarwa                       

Liam Daish - @liamdaish                                

Neil Barrett - @NeilChezBarrett   

If you ever want to tweet me, then you can reach me on Twitter at @main_man                              

From The Wall to Waltzing Matilda

When I was a teenager I had the pleasure of watching what, in my opinion, was the greatest concert of all time.  The concert was by a group called Pink Floyd (you may have heard of them!) and they performed the whole concert to their latest album release at that time called, quite simply, The Wall.

Over the years I have raved to my friends about how good the concert was, as well as the album, and that if they ever got the chance to see it live then they should go.  Since I saw The Wall in concert, Pink Floyd have gone into a permanent hiatus and their talismanic bass player, Roger Waters, went his own way.  As such, The Wall has never been seen on tour in its entirety until very recently. 

Roger Waters has been touring the world with an updated version of The Wall.  Now when I heard he was bringing this $55 million dollar show to Australia I was very excited.  Having remembered at how amazing the original show was, I was very keen to see how it would look like nowadays.  Also, given that Waters is now aged 68, there would possibly not be too many opportunities in the future to relive one of rock music’s spectacles.

A couple of weeks ago he arrived in Sydney, which for once was not raining!  Now for those that have never seen, or heard of The Wall I should give a brief description of what the show entails.

As the group are performing the songs from the album, a wall is gradually being built across the stage until during the song “Goodbye Cruel World” the band are totally void from sight as the last brick is put in place, with them behind this large monolith.  During the second part of the show, songs are performed within parts, on top of and outside the wall. I can’t remember how many bricks there were but it was more than 400 from memory.  During the whole concert there are so many things going on like a plane crashing into the wall, pyrotechnics, floating pigs and other floating characters, and the most stunning animation being broadcast onto the wall.  Oh, and then there’s the fantastic music and songs too!

The concert started with the soundtrack to Spartacus. Suddenly a tall, slim and grey haired man walked onto the stage, started to play bass guitar and singing the opening verse to “In the Flesh”.  Roger Waters was here to rock!  Then the first of many special effects took place as a World War 2 style plane flew into the Wall and exploded into flames.  At this stage the concert was very similar to what I had seen all those years ago.  I was keen to see how the show would differ from my memory of it.  I didn’t have to wait long to see how it had been enhanced.

The album itself, with its cryptic lyrics, is multi layered and can be interpreted in many ways.  In brief, it is sort of an autobiography of Roger Waters.  From his father being killed in World War 2, to becoming a rock star with fame and fortune and then being insulated within this false lifestyle, hence the Wall.  It is also a sarcastic look at how governments and big corporations treat us lesser mortals as a mere number, a disposable entity or more aptly “another brick in the wall”.

The animation throughout the show projected a number of activists and innocent people who were killed, either standing up for their rights (think the Arab Spring), or fighting and being killed in a pointless war that their government had sent them to (think Gulf War part 2).  It showed details of who they were, what they did and how they died. 

Two pieces of animation stuck in my mind and probably always will.  As bombs were falling from a number of war planes they were instantly turned into crosses symbolising death of people.  It was very poignant.  The second was how some other planes were releasing things that became logos of well know corporations and eventually they ‘filled’ the wall.  It just showed me how companies control and enwrap ourselves with their products to satisfy our ‘consumerism urges’.

At the halfway mark, when the final brick went in, there was a 15 minute interlude.  Projected onto the wall were pictures and details of activists who had fought for their beliefs.  By now it was obvious that the updated version of the show had quite rightly, given events of the past few years, an activist theme.

The second part of the show was just as spectacular and jaw dropping.  The songs by now were sarcastically touching on racism and fascism that has been a scourge on society, and the prejudice that exists everywhere.

Finally, after some great synchronisation singing with animated characters, the Wall came tumbling down.  Even now I am not sure how the Wall was made to collapse, but it was very impressive.

At the end of the concert, Roger Waters announced to the audience that the group was going to sing one more song.  He said it was “your song”. I started to cringe thinking that the national anthem was going to be sang after such a powerful and though provoking concert.  Fortunately, it wasn’t the national anthem.  Instead he started singing “Waltzing Matilda”.  Not just the first verse which most people know, but the whole song. 

It was an amazing finale to an amazing night.  From ‘The Wall’ to ‘Waltzing Matilda’.  Now, only Roger Waters could get away with doing something like that!

Transfer Window - Ebbsfleet United

The following is my article that was published in the match day programme for the game against Southport United.

During last month the transfer window was open for all football clubs to actively try and make their squads stronger, with the aim being to either win a trophy, obtain promotion or to stave off the impending fear that relegation can bring. The elite clubs, with supposed money to burn, can obviously call the shots. They have the power and influence to do so. If you were following the transfer rumours during January it would appear that the top clubs in England were after every single player in Europe! Naturally, this was not the case, or was it?

However, the ‘Big Boys’ can offer top class players an attractive salary and bonus arrangement plus immediate access to sponsors. There are some Premier League players who earn more than £200,000 per week after tax! Imagine what a club like Ebbsfleet United could do with one week’s pay, kindly donated by Messrs Rooney and Tevez! The top clubs obviously negotiate with a player via a plethora of agents and club officials to ‘get their man’.

Players move from other countries to England because they feel they will have the ability to win trophies with their new club, play at the top level as well as increasing their chances of gaining representative honours. Oh, and I am sure the money helps a little too!

Drop down four divisions from the Premier League to the Blue Square Premier and it is a totally different situation.

Take our club, for example. Being part-time means that Ebbsfleet United cannot offer ridiculous amounts of money for a potential transfer target. It also means that the Manager becomes an expert at negotiation skills when dealing with players and other football clubs. Most Managers at this level will be looking for players who live fairly local, as relocation fees are not an option. In addition, they will be looking at players who want to re-start their careers, or younger players who just want match time to enhance their skills.

Loan signings are an important part of any team, especially lower league teams. Already this season we have seen Liam Daish acquire some fantastic loan signings. In fact, we welcome two new loan signings to the club. Gozie Ugwu has already marked his loan spell from Reading with a goal against Bath City last weekend. Our other loan signing needs no introduction as it is Lance Cronin who has come on loan from Bristol Rovers for a month as replacement for the suspended Preston Edwards.

Finally, a plea to all supporters at today’s game. As most of you will know there have been two raids on the club recently. In the first one our groundsman had some valuable tools stolen. In the second raid our tea hut was broken into and stock taken. In addition, a large amount of electrical cable was cut and stolen. This cable part supplies electricity to the Swanscombe end floodlights and the burger bars. Naturally, this is a big shock and loss for a club our size to cope with. If you can help in any way through a donation or volunteer your services or materials then please let the club know.