05 August 2008

The Great Phone Call Mystery

"My first thought was "where did all the missed calls go to?". My second thought was "who is eating all the biscuits?"...did our mystery person forget their partner's birthday? In some cases that could be the incident to spark an international crisis!"

Over the past few weeks there has been an an unusual occurrence happening at the Mothership. No, it's not the fact that there has been a lack of biscuits which is very unusual. Before I go on I should explain that the Mothership is the nickname of the the financial organisation where I work, and it is located in one of Sydney's tallest buildings.

Anyway, on the floor that I am located I have noticed that there is an empty desk that just has a phone on it. Now that is not unusual in itself, you might say, and normally I would agree. However, since working on this floor I have never seen anyone sit at this desk. This is strange in itself as desks are at a premium in the Mothership (as are biscuits, or so it seems). Also, the desk phone has a visual display that records how many missed calls have occurred.

Over the past few weeks I have noticed that the number of missed calls has been increasing. A month ago it was registering just over 300 missed calls and last week it was up to 580! Naturally, this got me to thinking as to why this phone would have so many missed calls. You would have thought that the caller (or callers) would have worked out that after 500 plus calls that, maybe, they would not be getting a return call. I know I would.

This week there was a twist to this mystery as the missed call display was registering only 15 missed calls. My first thought was "where did all the missed calls go to?". My second thought was "who is eating all the biscuits?". I then decided to let my imagination run riot and work out possible scenarios as to what had happened. While I was pondering this I took a few bites out of one of the last remaining biscuits.

After a few minutes I had come up with a plausible scenario. It was obvious to me that the mystery person had entered the Mothership over the weekend and had gone through most of the missed calls. By my calculations this would have taken a number of hours. Hence our mystery person would have got the hunger pangs and therefore started chomping away on our supply of biscuits! (the scoundrel).

Having worked this out with Sherlock Holmes precision (not), the second question to come up was "what is the mystery persons favourite biscuit?" closely followed by "who could have made the calls?" So I contemplated this last question further while finishing off my last biscuit.

Could the caller have been a spurned lover? Did our mystery person break the caller's heart by having an out of relationship fling? or did our mystery person forget their partner's birthday? In some cases that could be the incident to spark an international crisis!

The callers could have been from the Tax Office. Maybe our mystery person has been fiddling their tax returns and after 10 years the Tax Office have just realised this. In true Government department form it would not surprise me if they have been ringing 580 times to speak to this person. Now, here's a tip to the Taxman. If you have rung that many times don't you think a visit to the office might be a better option!!

Finally, as the last biscuit crumb was eaten it dawned on me as to who the identities of the caller and mystery person are. So, dear reader, here is my well thought out conclusion.

Throughout my analysis of this mystery there has been one common denominator and that is the office supply of biscuits, or lack of them. Obviously the calls are from a supply company arranging for further deliveries of biscuits. This could only mean that the mystery person is in fact the Cookie Monster!! My quest now is to obtain visual evidence of Cookie Monster breaking into the Mothership and eating all our biscuits while at the same time ordering more. Hopefully, we'll catch the big blue Monster red handed (or should I say biscuit handed).

Wish me luck....

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