17 July 2008

Holy See - dney!

"Methinks that the Catholic Church must be using an egg timer to define how many hours there are in a day!... It's a fair bet to assume that the Pope will win the 11.50 race by a head!"

Sydney is in the middle of an attack. This is not an ordinary attack either. Don't panic, dear reader, it's not by a military force wanting to take over Australia's number one city. It's not even by the Bogong moths who, like clockwork, hit the city in their millions every year and it's certainly not by accountants attending a tax convention. It is in fact by Catholic pilgrims from all corners of the earth!

Sydney is currently half way through the World Youth Day celebrations. To most people a day is 24 hours. For this event the 'day' lasts 6 days. Methinks that the Catholic Church must be using an egg timer to define how many hours there are in a day! Anyway, there are approximately 200,000 pilgrims currently in Sydney. I have this week seen a few clergymen and nuns getting totally lost in the Sydney CBD. Obviously a GPS (God Positioning System) would have helped them with their directions!

All have come to join together to undertake a whole range of religious festivities including seeing the top man of the Catholic Church (well, second really) the Pope himself. Bishop Ratzinger aka Pope Benedict XVI is in town. Naturally there is great excitement in the air, from a pilgrims point of view.

Since being in Sydney the Pope has been chilling at his retreat on the outskirts of the city. Rumour has it that he has been break dancing to 50 Cent, doing a number of sudoku puzzles and karaoking to Radiohead. There again, it could just be a rumour!

Meanwhile the pilgrims have been traipsing all over the city with their brightly coloured World Youth Day attire. Virtually all have a smile on their face and are exuding positiveness. I wonder what really is in the 'Holy Water' to make them so happy. Could it be vodka? who knows. Whatever it is it should be looked into by the authorities.

Anyway, the 'Day' finishes on Sunday when the Pope (wearing ray ban shades and sporting a Koala earring) will give the final mass at, of all places, Randwick Racecourse. It's a fair bet to assume that the Pope will win the 11.50 race by a head! Divine intervention will see to that. After the Pope has finished his service to 240,000 pilgrims he will get into his revved up Pope Mobile and head to the airport while listening to AC/DC on the CD player.

The pilgrims will party on for the rest of the day before making plans to leave Sydney and move on to their next port of call (or calling). Then us Sydneysiders can get back to normality.

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