13 April 2008

Do you know who you really are?

"All of a sudden a light bulb appeared above my head - I had an idea!.... I am also a trucker! (images of Greasy Joe roadhouses, blue singlet and beer gut come to mind"

I was feeling quite bored the other night and thought that I would surf the Internet as a way of doing something. It was either that or watching yet another reality show on television.

Once I had logged on I had no idea what to do, or what to search for - via the always dependable Mr Google. All of a sudden a light bulb appeared above my head - I had an idea! Well, a literal light bulb appeared, not a real one!

Some of my friends would definitely say "unbelievable - he's had an idea! that's a rare occurrence!" but it was true I did have one. I thought it would be great to search on my name to see what was recorded on the Internet. Having a common surname and a not-so-common first name I was intrigued to see what results I would get. For the record, I am not in the slightest bit narcissistic (I removed all the 10 mirrors in my bedroom ages ago - honest!!). I am, in fact, a typical guy who likes playing air guitar when no one is watching, and writing blogs (badly at times).

So I typed in my name and looked at the local search results. The results were quite amazing.

Apparently, In Brisbane I have my own window cleaning business. Now the thought of cleaning windows for mums and dads, as well as for corporate clients does nothing to thrill me. I can only assume that my namesake enjoys the outdoors as well as the stifling heat and humidity of Brissie in summer. Alas, I don't.

The next result said that I was a breeder of dogs. Well, this is a step up in my opinion. Yes, I do like dogs but would not have a clue about how to breed them. I have trouble looking after goldfish, so I know I wouldn't be best equipped to be a dog breeder! So I moved onto the next result.

This one said that I was an author (note to any book houses out there - yes I DO want to write a book very soon - please contact me!). This one was about the Second World War. Certainly not my fave subject, but the profession certainly agrees with me! Things were looking up by now. I couldn't wait to find out what else I had been up to.

Well for the rest of the Australian search results apparently I am a collector of military antiques. Naturally, this namesake must wear horn rimmed glasses and wear an anorak as this is something I certainly would not be interested in. Also, it appears that I have been trying to sell a 'Winnebago Mercedes Benz sprinter' - lucky me!

At this stage I thought I would do an international search on my name. Surely that would produce some juicy professions for me!

Well apparently not. I am an expert on ADHD and have written papers on psychotherapy (whatever that is). The next result was a good one. I am a QC and am 'a property litigator whose name "wields authority" among the judiciary.' Sounds powerful, but also a tad scary. Like something from a John Grisham novel. Mind you, this namesake of mine had been awarded a CBE - so that is a step in the right direction.

The next three search results showed me to be a soldier (eek!), a telecommunications expert and a teacher. Three very diverse occupations indeed. I think I liked the teacher one the best. I am not sure I want to be involved in the military nowadays. As for telecommunications - it's not really my cup of chai latte!

The next results were quite mixed as well. I am apparently a South African architect (not bad!), an Internet marketing guru (imagine slick backed hair, Ferrari, chunky gold rings etc), and I am also a trucker! (images of Greasy Joe roadhouses, blue singlet and beer gut come to mind, as do sausages and eggs!).

I then searched more extensively and found out that I was Lord Mayor of one of England's rural cities. Wow, now that's a job I could handle! Opening fetes, working with the local council and authorities and getting the best seats in the house for shows, etc. Yes this namesake gets my thumbs up!

Before I knew it my boredom had passed and I realised that I had spent nearly an hour searching on my name and had hardly skimmed the surface of results. I decided to call it a night having found a profession that truly matches my name!

So if you are looking to idle away some time then I challenge you to search for your own name on the Internet to see what comes up. Go on, I dare you!

1 comment:

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