19 January 2008

I've Had Enough!!

"So what had caused my consternation. Had my fave footy team lost (yes, but hey, that's quite common).... I have visions of a simpleton working for the NSW sheriff thinking 'who can I annoy today?'"

"That's it", I said. "I am going to rescind my Australian citizenship!" Following this outburst to myself, I and myself headed outside to get some fresh air. "self" I said "How can they continue to do this!" Naturally 'self' didn't answer.

So what had caused my consternation. Had my fave footy team lost (yes, but hey, that's quite common)?, was the screen writers strike in the US of A affecting my television viewing (er, no - but if 24 is not shown this year then I won't be a happy Vegemite*)? or had I lost my Kylie Cd's (well no, seeing as I don't own any!)?. So what was it that was causing me so much grief?

Well the cause of my consternation was quite simply that I have been called up for jury duty for the fourth (yes that's 4th) time in the last 7 months!!! Now I am fully aware that it is a person's obligation to attend Jury duty but having received four notifications seems a tad excessive. I have visions of a simpleton working for the NSW sheriff thinking 'who can I annoy today?' After less than 10 seconds my name comes to mind. So in the post I receive another notification!

The previous three times I have been able to 'get out' of attending jury duty because, quite simply, I have been way too busy with a number of projects to manage. For the past eleven months I have been working out of two offices looking after three large projects. Each time I received the official letter I immediately got cracking on writing a letter explaining why I cannot fulfill my duties.

There are two other factors that affect my ability to attend jury duty. The first is the fact that I am a Justice of the Peace. Yeah, I know. Upstanding citizen blah blah blah. Some of my friends have been known to call me a 'Justice of the Piss'. Anyway, being a JP means that I get to sit in on the juicy cases. No stolen cabbages for me, no sir! I get the murders, gangland bashings, drug hauls and so on.

This may sound good but the main drawback is that I work as a consultant in the Finance industry. Hence, I only get paid for the hours I work. It's true that you do get paid a minimal amount for attending jury service but even this would not be half my weekly pay. So seeing that the latest notification says that the case will be for at least 6 weeks it means that I could be bankrupt by the end of it. I suppose that I could end up in the bankruptcy court. Now there's an ironic twist.

So the obvious question is do I attend or not? Well, I could go dressed as a goth or punk rocker and hope to be discharged from standing as a juror, or maybe I could write yet another letter!

There is one fail safe way to stop me receiving jury duty notifications, and that is to rescind my citizenship.

Therefore, if you are reading this epic blog from another country (thankfully 40% of my readership comes from overseas) then let me know if I can take out citizenship for your own beloved country. There is only one request though. If you are from a war torn country then please do not contact me...just yet!


* Vegemite is a dark brown savoury food paste that is made from yeast extract and is loved by all Australians!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey comrade,

My instinct tells me one way of abjuring your jury duty is to enrol in a law course :)

Anonymous said...

Hey fellow blogger, yet another great post!

Been watching Boston (Il)Legal from US of A recently? Surely plenty of pointers in every episode! Cheers